Once a year, teachers get to lower the veil between responsible educator and the dirty little fun-havers that they are in real life (or “IRL” as the kids say). But you’re a teacher, and therefore know how to stick to a budget, so shelling out big bucks for a costume just isn’t going to happen. You want a disguise that’s easy, comfortable, appropriate, unique, AND that won’t dip too much into your “Wine While Grading Papers” fund. Well, you’ve come to the right place! We’ve rounded up the best costumes for teachers, and even separated them by specialty … though, if we’re keeping it real, all teachers collectively specialize in one thing: witty comebacks for, “What? I’m just texting my mom!” Hold on to your seats, blackboard bandits – costume school is now in session.
ELEMENTARY SCHOOL TEACHER COSTUMES
To those who think ring leading Kindergartners seems like SO MUCH FUN, teachers ask: Have you ever had to dislodge a broken crayon from a child’s nose? It isn’t pretty. However, grade school educators usually look at these experiences like “The Frizz” from The Magic School Bus … “Take chances, make mistakes, get messy.” We created the galaxy-themed, Ms. Frizzle dress with these educators in mind. Are you more of a big kid yourself? Items kids are familiar with tend to be instantly hilarious when a teacher dresses up as one of them. Take the aforementioned crayon, for example. There’s nothing funny about a crayon by itself, but it becomes silly when a giant one encapsulates an authority figure! Other oversized favorites that’ll tickle their funny bones include Food (Kool-Aid Man never fails to impress), planets, and brand personalities (those M&M’s are definite giggle inducers). There are so many excellent teacher Halloween costumes if you put your mind to it!
The kids know how to read? Well, then you’ve already done a great job! And along the way, your students have likely met their fair share of characters – but nothing brings them to life quite like you do. Not only are you “the voice” when the stories are being read aloud in class, but now you can actually free these characters from their paper prisons and BECOME them! For the mischief-makers, there’s Cat in the Hat. Mother Goose always has a tale to tell. Little Red Riding Hood, Mad Hatter, Babe the Blue Ox, Raggedy Andy, and even Bo Peep’s Sheep – if they exist in a storybook, the matching ensembles are never more than a click away.
GEOGRAPHY TEACHER COSTUMES
Okay, so a lot of your lesson plans focus on the placement of fifty, nifty United States, but Geography class is also responsible for adult-onset wanderlust – you shape the minds of dreamers, adventurers, and travelers! Where’s Waldo? and Carmen Sandiego is guaranteed to strike a nostalgic chord, but you could also play with the notion of travel. Space travel, time travel, TIME AND SPACE travel – all characters that open the doors to possibility are all great choices for masters of the maps!
HISTORY TEACHER COSTUMES
George Washington again? Gee, no one saw that coming. Besides, we’re still kind of miffed that all the cherry tree drivel you sold us as kids was a fib (though we are less bitter about that than Pluto’s fall from planetary grace). Your students are expecting a historical figure, but why not give them an excellent history lesson ala Bill and Ted?! Being a ‘Wyld Stallyn” isn’t for everyone (definitely not English teachers), but we’re betting you might still have some beat up Chucks and a pair of well-worn black jorts in the back of your closet somewhere. Find a Bill S. Preston, Esquire and you have a really fun buddy costume. “Can you tell me where we might find some personages of historical significance?” Convince the entire department (or involve other departments if necessary) to recreate Bill and Ted’s “historical runway.” Abe Lincoln, Joan of Arc, and Napoleon were notable standouts, but you can add in as many as you deem necessary to crank the “EPIC costume meter” up to 11!
SCIENCE TEACHER COSTUMES
Honestly, scientists have gotten a bad rep from pop culture. If you’re not slinging corpse parts to assemble and reanimate a Franken-man in your basement, then you’re a meth-lab-on-wheels owner ala Walter White from Breaking Bad. Sounds like the “creative types” have a little intellectual jealousy if you ask us. Oh well, if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em – besides, there’s no better place than a school to let your nerd flag fly! A lab coat and a wild wig instantly transform you into Albert Einstein the same way powered armor makes you Iron Man … And while Iron Man is “technically” a nerd, he’s also a superhero scientist! This would also be a good place to note: To date, there are no “quarterback superheroes” in the Marvel Universe.
ENGLISH TEACHER COSTUMES
As a wielder of words, it’s no doubt that you are taking “finding the perfect Halloween costume for school” very seriously. Communication is kinda your thing, and you want to let the world know just how entertaining you are! The Harry Potter series is an instant muse, but you may not be “an art teacher” enough to pull off Mrs. Trelawny. No problem! Minerva McGonagall has a special place in every kid’s heart. Tall, dark, and mysterious – sure you are, Voldemort! From Hermione to Dobby, The School of Witchcraft and Wizardry has seemingly endless possibilities. Hold up, do you hear that? It’s Rue’s Whistle calling! Katniss Everdeen serves up a little edge … and is, unsurprisingly, very effective at keeping students in line (expert archery skills will do that). Of course, whatever you do, don’t leave out the classics! Romeo and Juliet, Jacob Marley, Hester Prynne, Jay Gatsby, and Daisy Buchanan – they all stand the test of time and are great investment pieces. Buy a really good Gatsby-style costume now, and wear it several times throughout your career.
THE REST OF THE FACULTY
Didn’t see your department in our lineup? Don’t worry, we didn’t forget about you! Some types of teachers just take a little more coaxing to come out of their shells. Here are our suggestions for everyone else with VIP access to the teacher’s lounge:
Gym teacher: Richard Simmons Costume Janitor: Groundskeeper Willie Mask
Human Anatomy: Skeleton Costume
No matter which subject you teach, or whom you teach it to, Halloween presents the opportunity to build a connection with your students. Simply put: Let your hair down, and get into the spirit of the season! CALLING ALL TEACHERS: What are you going to be this Halloween? Let us know in the comments below – we love getting new ideas from you.