#Fastball — How does Charlie Sheen do it?
Do you want to be #Winning just like Charlie, even though you don't have tigerblood? Here's a guide for emulating the celeb whose personality is now officially worth more than Two and a Half Men:
The first steps to looking like Charlie does after a 57 hour binge:
- Grab a dress shirt in white or muted tone. A bowling shirt will do just fine, too.
- Crumple said shirt in a ball, step on it, and do your best to make it as wrinkly as possible.
- Put it on and unbutton the collar and first few buttons. Make it look like you've been wearing it for a few days.
- Use this messy, black wig for your hair. You can work in some gel or pomade to slick it back.
- Don't think you can quite achieve the sleep-deprived, wacked-out look? That's fine! Simply wear this Charlie Sheen mask and no one will have any problem figuring out who you are dressed as.
How to make sure people know that you're trying to look like Charlie Sheen (and are not actually gross in real life):
- White powder under your nose. Baby powder works well; powdered or granulated sugar is another option. To make it stick, try dabbing a tiny bit of Vaseline under your nose and then apply the white powder of your choosing on top of it.
How to sound just like Charlie:
- Your girlfriend? She's not your girlfriend. She's one of your "goddesses."
- Want to emphasize your point? "Do the math —the scoreboard doesn't lie!"
- Feeling proud? "I bleed tigerblood!"
- People telling you to stay calm? "It's not anger. It's passion!"
- Someone making you angry? You're dealing with "fools and trolls!"
- If anyone doubts you, just remind them that you've got "magic and poetry at your fingertips."
...all you have to do is insert a "WINNING" into every other sentence, and you will succeed.