Robot Hat

It is the year 2017 -- the distant future. Robot men have taken over the world. It was easy for them after they discovered the humans’ only weakness: being shot by giant lasers. Once humankind was taken care of, they could finally go about establishing a robot utopia. Free microchips at every participating robot grocery store. Hot and cold running oil in every robot apartment building. And all of the trees are replaced with robo-recharging stations. Truly a paradise. What a time to not be alive.

If you are a human but deep in your chest beats the cold, unfeeling heart of a robot, then you too may join the robots in their awesome new mechanical world. You will blend in perfectly with our Robot Hat, a shiny helmet with sweet antennae for receiving important robot signals. And remember: no one can hurt your feeling ever again if you don’t have feelings. Beep.