Captain Kirk Pick-Up Lines

 Oh no.  No!  Nonononono.

I’m really the one that has to do this?  Really?

Fine.

Hi everyone, it’s Joe from HR again.  If I had any sort of professional credibility to begin with, it would be gone by the end of this post.  Why?  Because I helped to facilitate this: a collection of the filthiest pickup lines that Captain Kirk could (and would!) use to bed yet another hot, green alien.

 

Star Trek Green Alien

Only included for reference, obviously. [Source]


We figure that the best way to celebrate tonight's release of the new film, Star Trek: Into Darkness, is by paying tribute to the original Kirk – Shatner himself.  So without any further ado, I present to you the greatest things that the greatest Starfleet Captain would say to get you to get his beam up.

Oh boy, it’s starting already. 

 

Boldly Go Kirk Meme

 These are the voyages of the Starship In Your Thighs…

 

 

Stunning Kirk Meme

Classic and classy.  Just the way Kirk is supposed to work.

 

 

Captain's Log Kirk Meme

This is going downhill quickly.



Oh boy.  How about we have a little musical break to cut the tension?  This one should diffuse the tension.  Lady (I assume that one female, at most, has made it this far) and gentlemen, I present the greatest musician of this or any era, combined with the second greatest singer for Black Flag, as interpreted by Russian puppets:

 

I think that might have just made it worse.



Klingons Kirk Meme

I have difficulty believing he tested negative for anything.



Just Happy to See You Kirk Meme

He will battle you with it too.



Tractor Beams Kirk Meme

Ahh…This one wasn’t so bad.  Kind of sweet actually.



Holodeck Meme

Oh, you charmer.



Romulan Kirk Meme

Please don’t be like me and understand this reference.  For your own sake.



Tribbles Kirk Meme

I bet Tribbles are soft and fluffy.


 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Phased My Pants Kirk Meme

Alright, that’s it.  Shut it down.

 

So what do you think?  Are there any more pickup lines that you think that Kirk could use?  Put them in the comments below OR hit us up on Twitter @FunCostumes, with the hashtag #kirkpickuplines.

You know what?  How about just one more musical number before we go?

 

Uh.Maze.Ing. AMAZING!!

 

Star Trek: Into Darkness comes out today, May 16th, 2013, so be sure to pick up classic Star trek costumes to wear to the premier here: halloweencostumes.com/star-trek-costumes.html

 

Joe Vampire secretly thinks that Picard is the superior captain from the superior show.  He also owns three William Shatner albums (one is a split with Leonard Nimoy).  That’s not a joke.

Joe Vampire

Joe Vampire is the evil HR guy at the company.  He once trained people in the art of phlebotomy but that’s not how he got his pseudonym.  He's not quite sure how it was bestowed upon him, as a matter of fact.  Because he’s in HR, and therefore has no friends, he retreats into a world of horror movies, video games, beards, beers, bears, black metal, and playing guitar for Old Towne Ghosts.


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