There's some great perks to working in a chocolate factory. First, you get all the recently or soon to expire candy you can eat. Second, you get a discount on the freshest candy of up to 20% (makes great gifts!). Third, you get to sing didactic rhyming songs all day while you handle unruly children who fell into an ironic mishap. Sounds like the best job in the world, right? Oh, and fourth, if it didn't sound like the dream job already, they have awesome health benefits. Send in your application today!

• 100% Polyester
• Foam padded pants
• Boots w/ white pom pom
• Bright green wig
• Brown top w/ white overall tops
• Improvisational rhyming skills