One Night Stand Costume
Ah, the one night stand. What’s not to like about it? Waking up in the morning to the murky, spinning aftereffects of a night well spent partying. That initial shock at the unfamiliarity of your surroundings. And who is that beside you supposed to be again? Oh no, you think you’re going to be sick. You manage to rise quietly and find enough of your clothes to walk home without being arrested for indecent exposure. A strange cat gives you a mean-spirited glare, resentful at your intrusion. You’ve found your keys, wallet, and phone and are just about to escape from this alien apartment when you hear those words: “Where are you going? I thought we could have breakfast together.”
Fortunately you’ve always been a quick thinker. “Yeah...I, uh...yeah, I have to go to my grandma’s...bar mitzvah. Call me.” They shout back that they don’t have your number but hey, oh well, you didn’t hear. All you can think is that you need a breakfast burrito and a shower more than anyone has ever needed those two things before. Aren’t one night stands the best?
There are some more savory aspects of the one night stand that we acknowledge to omitting on a family website, but we’ll trust you to fill in those blanks. Our One Night Stand Costume is a clever visual play on words. It comes with a night stand costume and a lampshade hat. (The lampshade, of course, is the traditional hat worn by those who know how to party.) Wear this to any social gathering like an inaugural ball or school play and you’re sure to be a big, big hit. If someone you don’t want in on the joke asks you what you’re supposed to be, just tell them you’re a “member of cabinet.” That’s sure to get some safe and sensible chuckles.
- Brown dresser-shaped jumpsuit
- Drawers w/ wood grain on the front & cigarettes, money, condoms, & a love note
- Hole for your head & neck at the top & holes for arms
- Bottom is open for the legs
- Dresser is 29 inches long, 20 inches wide, & 16 inches deep
- Leopard print lamp shade hat w/ black fringe
- Foam dresser tunic
- Lamp shade hat
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