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Border Patrol Uniform Shirt

Border Patrol Uniform Shirt
Border Patrol Uniform Shirt
Buy New$19.99
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Product Description

Ohhhh geez…listen, these are tense times for our country. Kind of like you with your first girlfriend, sometimes trying new stuff out doesn’t always go the way we think it will. Even when we come up with a carefully crafted plan, things can still go sideways!

Like, for instance, that time when your parents were going to be gone on Friday night because they had a wedding to go to, so you were like, “perfect, I’ll invite Marsha over for a night of sensual passion!” You straightened up the den, rented The Little Mermaid because you know it was her favorite when she was a kid (and also because you won’t miss any good parts of a new movie while you’re trying out some new moves), and even went out and got some classy snacks like sparkling grape juice and a block of cheddar cheese. You were ready! Tonight was gonna be the night - Marsha was gonna over, you guys were gonna smooch, and then you were gonna blow her away with your Love God confidence and gentle caresses and finally unlock one of the many mysteries of all those adult situations you keep hearing about in movies where a saxophone always plays and the camera fades out just as you’re about to get to the good part. But instead of being able to walk into Jefferson High on Monday with a gleam in your eye and a lilt in your step, you kept burping from the sparkling grape, the cheddar made Marsha’s stomach hurt, and the only sensual activity that happened on your parent’s couch den was when she accidentally grabbed your knee just before she threw up all over the coffee table. Who could have predicted that she was lactose-intolerant?!

What we’re trying to say is, these things happen. And if you gave up then, you never would have been able to smile wryly whenever you heard a saxophone playing during a movie and think, “Yeah. I know what’s happening right now. Been there, done that!” Right?! So demonstrate a little bit of that "can't keep me down" attitude with this Border Patrol Uniform Shirt! Sporting a yellow ''U.S. Border Patrol'' patch on the shoulder, you'll be able to show everyone that, yeah, there's been some rough patches in our nation's past, but thanks to the romantic mishaps of your past, you're holding steady to the proof that miracles can and do happen!

  • 100% polyester
  • Olive green button shirt
  • Yellow ''U.S. Border Patrol'' patch on the shoulder
Items Included
  • Border Patrol Shirt
Size Chart
Size Measurement Standard Metric
Standard Chest 50" 127cm
Standard Length 30" 76cm
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