Adult Cow Costume
When you are a cow, you get to make a lot of puns. Don’t be afraid of overdoing it. It’s best to milk the opportunity for all it’s worth. It doesn’t matter if your puns are cheesy, but don’t use barnyard humor or people might have a beef with you. And you’d never want to risk putting foot in mouth because you offended someone. That would be udderly embarrassing.
Beyond the puns, being a cow has a lot of other perks too. As a human you’re always told not to eat too much salt. As a cow, you’re literally given a giant block of salt that you can lick all you want. When you chew with your mouth open, your mom scolds you. But if you were a cow your mom would never lecture you on your manners, because she would also be a cow and and have a limited (if any) understanding of dining etiquette. Finally, as a human you have to pay taxes and register for the draft and contemplate your own mortality. Cows sleep on fluffy hay and sun themselves in cozy meadows.
Are there any downsides to being a cow? None that we can think of, actually. So what excuse have you got not to order your very own Cow Costume today? It’s the very popular Holstein black and white pattern with horns and a very realistic udder. That means it’s no bull!
- 100% Polyester
- Black and white jumpsuit with a tail
- Green rubber cow udder attached to the front
- Cartoon headpiece with horns and ears
- (Note: headpiece and udder differ in color and style from the image)
- Jumpsuit w/ Udder