Recent years have brought huge amounts of discrimination against us pirates, which I reckon – YAR HAR HAR! – is partly our own fault. (Please excuse my Piratis, pronounced “pie rye tuss”, it’s because I’m a pirate.) As professional pirates, we always strive to do what’s right for ourselves, but with a bit more heart than none at all. That’s why we want you to try out being a pirate for awhile, whether it’s as part of our crew, forming your own, or dressing up for what I hear them Americans call “Halloween”, a day that I am only pretending to be unfamiliar with. Obviously, I go trick or treating too. It’s the only time I’m taken seriously.
Women's Pirate Costume Ideas
So suppose – AHOY HOY MATEY! – that you’re a woman looking to either join or start your own pirating crew, or Per-Crü as I desperately want it to be shortened as. Being a female pirate is great, and not only because we use terms like lass (which rhymes with sass). Do you fancy yourself a sexy vixen? I’m not entirely sure I know what a vixen is, but certainly, you could dress up as one.
The red and black really go the extra mile (or as we pirates call them “sea kilometer”, YAAAR!) toward making you look gorgeous and enticing. You’ll love the lace, and so will the other pirates.
Wanting to show off how tall and mesmeric, or in pirate’s terms, how “sassy-lassy” you are? Why not try on a pair of the Sexy Pirate Captain Boots, to really show that men need to grow a pair of ovaries if they wanna be half as independent and assertive as you are. And why not get a sexy wig or pirate thigh-high stockings to go with it?
Not feeling the sex appeal so much? (I YAR-HAR-DLY UNDERSTAND!) You could try out the Prestige Womens Angelica Costume, and look both prestigious as well as many other “ous” words with a positive pirate connotation (piracious! Piratetitious!)
One of my personal favorites is the Bonnie Blue Pirate Costume, which will literally set the seven seas ablaze. I mean that they will be set on fire. I mean that we pirates have been irresponsible with Earth’s waters, but in our defense, it was all in the name of booty, and the whaling industry is the only source of oil on earth.
And if you’re looking to save the seas as oppose to destroying them, the Authentic Caribbean Pirate Costume will give you the necessary fashion to complement your altruism, a word I had to look up because it has no meaning to us pirates.
Another great option, particularly for the kind of lass I dream to marry someday, is the Womens Zombie Pirate Costume. Because as you know, the most successful pirate is the one who doesn’t give up, even if they accidentally trip on a sword several times or drink so much grog that they fall overboard.
If you’re like me and you find you need just a bit more room in your outfits, the Plus Size Female Pirate Costume is fitting for any lass who wants to be both sexy and dangerous, lovely yet intimidating, and innocent yet worldly. You’ll find the skirt sways perfectly when you step, and the white top is appealing to both pirates and non-pirates, revealing just enough to be suggestive but not so much as to be YAR-HAR I SHOULD STOP WHILE I’M AHEAD!
Suppose for a moment that you don’t want to be a pirate, but rather the lady who serves us ale, grog, or grogale (half ale, half grog, half whale). The Renaissance Pirate Wench Costume is aptly titled, as you’ll find people will likely refer to you as a wench and then expect a drink. The joke’s on them, though, because as the server of alcohol you are, indeed, our master.
Are you anatomically male or self-identifying as such? Then we have just as good of a set of costumes for you! And by costumes, I mean pirate attire, or pirattire as I’ve now decided we call it. Yarrr, I’m very influential in the world of ransacking colonial towns and vessels for their booty.
Women's Pirate Costume Makeup Tutorial
Men's Pirate Costume Ideas
A male pirate (like the famous rapper, Irate P) often considers himself to be a rogue. If this is the case for you, you might enjoy our Mens Rogue Pirate Costume. It has a bargain price fitting for a scoundrel, insofar as the quality is high and the coin you spend is low. You’ll look sharp and suave, and surely, when you’re threatening a passerby with your cutlass or inquiring if fellow pirates are keen for some grog, suave is precisely the word you’re looking for to define yourself as.
Speaking of suave, the legendary Captain Jack Sparrow, who was not in fact a bird but rather a man, was certainly a handsome fella (YAR-HAR HE WAS GORGEOUS!) Do you fancy yourself as incredibly fashionable as that buccaneer, a word I am sure I am not using inappropriately? (English was never my strong suit, being that I live on the sea). You’ll love our Captain Jack Sparrow replica beads and ring, for an authentic appeal to manliness done right. And of course, you can give the solid effort and dress as the big man in all of his coat-ey and pant-ey glory. And don’t forget to try on his famous hat, which I have on good authority is as comfortable as it is stylish.
Another fantastic option for male pirates is the Authentic Caribbean Pirate Adult Costume. Complete with a jacket attached shirt and vest, boot tops, waist sash, and hat, you’ll find other pirates and colonials suddenly overwhelmed with a deep admiration and respect for how you carry yourself. This is what I personally wear when I commandeer vessels or hit on the aforementioned zombie pirate women, both of which are all day, every day.
Pirate Costume Accessories
By this point, you’ve hopefully gotten an idea as to how you want to dress when it comes to pirating the seas or taking candy from strangers. But what about the accessories? My old-timey pirate-y friend, Long Horn The Bearded Who Had A Beard And A Hat, once told me in confidence that the best pirates acquire extra items to really make the grog taste better, the women more likely to talk to you, and the booty more bootilicious. I’m terrible at keeping secrets, being a pirate and all, so now that I’ve told you, allow me to explain.
If you’re not wearing a hat, or you just don’t like them, the Pirate Turban is the ideal choice. It also needs no explanation, being that it’s a turban, a word synonymous with perfection.
The Glitter Pirate Earrings combine the morbidity of piracy as a career path with the free spirit of our marketing campaign. You’ll most certainly, in my pirate opinion (pirinion), look more attractive and possess a higher degree of self-confidence.
Being bald myself (a common pirate trait, don’t judge me YAR-HAR-HAR), I quite like the plentiful number of wigs we have on offer. The Fallen Angel Wig is stunning, a silver wig that shows you’ve fallen from grace and into a quest for ill-gotten goods. It’s designed for women but you could say I am suffering from a pirate identity crisis (pirentity crisis). There’s also the Pirate Captain Beard, which, like Blackbeard, the most famous of the bearded pirates, being that his name was Blackbeard, will make you look as genuine as a pirate can be.
I should also note, being lonely on the seas, that I would appreciate it if you purchased the Womens White Corset or Mens Colonial Wig. I have no preference; I’m one of them progressive pirates.
Well, it appears I’ve run out of time. You know, lads and lassies, there’s plenty more costumes in our store. We have over 300 costumes and accessories, many of which are new. You should give in to my pirate peer-pressure (YARRR!) and look through them. And when you’re all ready to go, I’ll see you on the seven seas.
Richard Andrew Clark is a staff writer for HalloweenCostumes.com, where you can get all of your pirate costumes and accessories. Richard is obviously still recovering from Talk Like a Pirate Day.